


Kanamara Matsuri aka The Penis Festival

by collisionists



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuto is kind of a mess, Denial, Kuroo and Bokuto are bros, Kuroo has his shit together, M/M, Multi, Pining, Slow Build, They all still play Volleyball, considering the title, despite the title no phalluses will be present, its more the reason as to why they go and what they do there, kenma isnt mentioned or seen until later, nerdy kuroo is 100 percent canon in this one, nobody was supposed to know but kuroo is pretty omnipotent, oh also the festival part doesn't come until later, pre timeskip, sorry - Freeform, sorry but i really dont include any other characters other than the four of them, the angst doesnt hit until chapter 2, the point isnt the penis part of the festival, they go to a coffee shop at the start but this isnt a coffee shop au, this fic takes itself fairly serious, which isnt something i see often
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26222923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collisionists/pseuds/collisionists
Summary: ''The infamous and lighthearted 'Festival Of The Steel Phallus' or 'Penis Festival' as it's sometimes known as, takes place every year in April, although the unusually shaped floats may generate a few laughs, the true meaning behind the festival is actually about the wish to have children, as well as for equality and fair treatment accross genders and sexualities, as such, this particular Matsuri is very popular within the LGBT community.'' SO BASICALLY, the baseline is i had an idea for a fic, and i was just gonna do a cute festival oneshot type of thing for Bokuaka, then i found this GEM of a festival while doing research. I must also shout out my twitter chat for helping me come up with this idea to begin with. // Now, i can't do summaries so you'll have to bear with me// predominantly, Akaashi is helping a girl from her class, Bokuto misreads the situation entirely and Bokuto kinda loses it, but praise Heavens Kuroo knows how to help. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Kanamara Matsuri aka The Penis Festival

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who has decided to genuinley come here and read a fic with the words 'Penis festival' in the title! I hope you enjoy this piece of work, especially since this is the first time i,ve ever shared my writing.  
> I was too excited to get my work out there so i'll be updating the chapters as i go, in the meanwhile, i hope to see you again!

_RIIIIIIING!_

Bokuto jumped up, confused, almost as though her were in shock. His eyes panned to look at the clock, mounted at the front of his classroom: 3:15pm. There it was, finally. The glorious sound, signifying his long-awaited escape.

As his classmates slowly tumbled out the room one by one, Bokuto shoved the last of his supplies into his bag, before swiftly swinging the straps over his back. He eagerly took for the door, not sparing his teacher another glance. As he walked through the hallway, he fumbled around his pockets for his phone, it had been going off nearly all of last lesson, and to his dismay, he’d forgotten to turn it on silent.

_‘Kuroo, you bastard’_ He sneered to himself, yanking his pathetic little flip-phone from his trousers.

(That’s a funny story, actually, you see- Bokuto USED to own possibly one of the nicest phones in his year, it was new, AND incredibly expensive, to his knowledge, and he was certainly NOT the most modest person when it came to flexing it.

That WAS until he’d forgot to put his phone away after arriving at practice one day ; A volleyball had come flying straight at his face, and without A MOMENTS hesitation, Bokuto had FLUNG his phone from his hands, making space so he could catch the ball, only millimetres away from making contact with his nose-

-Let’s just say he certainly did not live that day down.)

As the screen on Bokuto’s phone lit up, he was greeted with:

_12 Messages from: Rooster Hair_

_4 Missed calls from: Rooster Hair_

_1 Voicemail from: Rooster Hair_

Bokuto let out a heavy sigh, opening his message app

\------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Rooster Hair_**

\-----------------------12 unread messages--------------------------

 **Rooster Hair** : bokuto

bokuto are you out yet

hey bokuto

bokuto

bokuto

fucker

bokuto

bokuto answer me

bokuto

ur being a real deoxyribonucleic acid rn dude

you know what

Probably better if I called you

DUDE : **Bokuto**

I WAS IN CLASS FUCKER 

**Rooster Hair** : um lame

anyway, we’re going out to eat today

hurry up im waiting outside and the ppl in ur school scare me

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was only by the time his phone was nearly back in his pocket: he realised.

_‘Shit, I need to text Akaashi...’_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

**_My Favourite Setter <3_**

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey! **:Bokuto**

Kuroo is dragging me out after school again, not walking home

sorry :(

_\---------------------------------------------------------------------_

_‘Akaashi. Akaashi…’_ The words rung in the back of his mind.

_‘Akaashi..-‘’_

‘’Bokuto-san.’’ Spoke a familiar voice. It was Akaashi.

Bokuto froze in his tracks.

‘’Ak-Oh-‘’ Bokuto’s gaze slowly shifted up from his feet, his eyes being met with someone unfamiliar.

**_‘That girl again?!’_ **

****

It was almost as if the life had drained from the boy’s eyes upon seeing her.

Now, it’d be unfair for Bokuto to say he had absolutely ZERO idea who this girl was, because he didn’t. It was a girl from Akaashi’s English classes.

What hit the nerve for Bokuto however, was that Akaashi was typically pretty quiet, kept to himself. He wasn’t necessarily someone who would talk to people during classes, let alone outside of them. Even worse- Akaashi was pretty, he was handsome, and the girls KNEW that for a fact. It always stumped Bokuto as to why Akaashi always denied them, whenever he was asked out; surely any smart guy would snatch up offers like that in a heartbeat, right?

Maybe this was it. Maybe this girl finally had Akaashi cave in.

It was about a week ago, while Bokuto was looking for Akaashi during lunch break; There Akaashi was, in his classroom, sat at his desk, with this… complete stranger, whom Bokuto had never seen in his life.

They were talking amongst themselves as the boy stayed glued at the doorway, overlooking the two.

Not only was Akaashi carrying a conversation, he was carrying a conversation with a girl, AND A PRETTY ONE AT THAT. For Bokuto, the thing that rubbed salt into the wound was that… Akaashi seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself, _he was smiling._

It made his heart shatter _._

_‘He didn’t tell me he was talking to a girl’_

‘’-I got your text.’’ The curly-haired boy broke the silence.

And just like that, Bokuto had snapped back to reality.

He hesitated for a moment, he almost felt guilty. Their trip home was always so exhausting, even worse after a long day. And for Bokuto, Akaashi was the only thing that made the trip bearable _. He hated it._

Before he could reply, Akaashi cut in, ‘’Have fun.’’

_‘Have fun.’_ The words repeated.

His stomach felt like a pit- ‘ _Why?’_

Before long, a firm hand was met with Bokuto’s shoulder, and Akaashi smiled.

_‘Oh yeah, that’s why.’_

As Bokuto approached the gates, a loud, hearty voice could be heard from afar.

‘’BOKUTO YOU’RE EXACTLY 3.5 MINUTES LATE’’ Kuroo yelled, the passer-by’s were certainly not hesitant to spare a few dirty glances towards the black-haired boy.

Bokuto chuckled, the thing he enjoyed best about Kuroo? He always knew how to bring his energy up- sometimes a little too much; together, you’d be convinced the two collectively shared a singular brain cell. Despite that, Kuroo was a nerd. A GIGANTIC nerd. He was the kind of nerd who would take you on a date to a science museum, or ask you to come over so you can, ‘’make baking soda volcanoes’’.

Not to mention, his grades were AMAZING. It was actually… kinda scary how the guy could have two completely opposite sides.

Kuroo hooked an arm around the shorter boy, a sinister grin plastered across his face as he reeled him in.

As Bokuto stumbled forward, he looked up at the other boy, ‘’The usual place?’’ He queried.

‘’The usual place.’’ Kuroo replied.

As the pair arrived to the quaint, little store, Bokuto nearly DIVED for the table near the window as soon as he scoped it. It coaxed a gentle laugh from Kuroo, as he placed his jacket around the chair, he’d noticed the other boy had already taken a seat, and had pulled out his phone.

‘’I’m going to go grab us some drinks-‘’

The frosty-haired boy was eager to butt in, ‘’-CAN YOU GRAB ME A SLICE OF COFFEE CAKE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE-‘’

Kuroo grinned, crossed his arms and then held out his hand, doing a little grabby motion towards the other boy.

Bokuto frantically grabbed his bag, whipping out whatever change he could find, before abruptly slamming it into Kuroo’s palm. And with that, the boy took off towards the counter.

Watching that the other had gone, Bokuto sluggishly grabbed his phone from the table, flipping it open with a sigh. He paused for a moment, staring at his lockscreen, if you could even call it that.

It was a picture him and Akaashi had took during practice; he remembered how much he had to plead Akaashi to even consider being in it with him, but much to Bokuto’s pleasure, he eventually caved in.

To the average eye, it probably seemed like your regular ‘’yeah, we’re best friends’’ type of photo, but what made it special to Bokuto was being able to see Akaashi smiling.

Although his calm demeanour came incredibly handy during matches, Akaashi was a fairly apathetic person, his face was nearly always unreadable, it certainly wasn’t emotionless, but it DEFINITELY was not full of expression. It felt like the only time Bokuto ever got to see him smile was once every blue moon.

Bokuto beamed to himself, his eyes still locked onto the picture.

‘’You act like he’s died or something.’’ A distant voice retorted. The frosty-haired boy almost came tumbling from his seat.

Bokuto stared as Kuroo hovered over him, placing a little plate of cake down on the table in front of him. Kuroo snickered, pulling out his chair before audaciously plopping himself down, taking a lengthy gulp from his drink.

The messy-haired boy rolled his eyes, still noticing he hadn’t received a response, ‘’So, is this why you’ve been so worked up lately? You’ve been acting like a completely different person.’’

‘’He’s been talking to a girl.’’ He replied, huffing, sticking a fork into his slice of cake.

Kuroo furrowed a brow, overlooking the other as he played with his food in a rather uncontent manor. Not only was this boy academically well off, he was incredibly observant. Bokuto had refuse to come out of his shell and tell ANYONE about how he felt about Akaashi, whether it was through fear of being made fun of, or something else, Kuroo was never really able to pinpoint why the other boy was in so much denial. Telling when someone is whipped is as easy as eating. and staring a pictures with a GAZE like Bokuto had, really did NOT help his case. Despite this, Kuroo never really took it upon himself to ever bring it up in conversation, nor confront him about it; had he thought about doing it? Yes. A million times, but he always just reckoned that he’d just make it worse for the both, so he never did. ‘’So? Shouldn’t you be proud of him? The guy can barely even hold a conversation..’’

It wasn’t long before a heavy fist met with the table, causing a decently audible bang throughout the store. ‘’It’s not that! I- I uh- It doesn’t matter, Okay? It’s fine. I’m just having a bad week. Bad games, y’know?’’

There was a long pause. The silence almost felt like a chill of wind down the pair’s spines. Kuroo shook the ill feeling off, looking the other up and down, almost like he was scanning him. He tilted his head to the side, a confused look plastered across his face; _‘right now, if Akaashi were here’_ he _thought ‘He’d probably be all like: Bokuto’s weakness number 412: Rambling when he lies.’_ And that’s when Kuroo shook his head, and the look of befuddlement morphed into a look of smugness. A chuckle escaped his mouth.

‘’Just tell him dude! Better now than never, right?’’ He stated, gulping down the remains of his coffee.

With the look he received from Bokuto, you would have thought a bombshell had gone off. He was nearly at a complete loss for words _. ‘Kuroo knew??? Surely not, maybe he’s referring to someone else? But that wouldn’t make sense-‘’_

‘’Imsorrywhat?’’ Was the only response he could muster.

‘’Oh? Did you really expect me to not tell? Yeah- no. You look at that boy with heart eyes every time you see him.’’ Kuroo reacted. Bokuto absolutely hated it whenever the other boy was able to read him like a book, and what he despised more was his shit-eating grin whenever he knew he wasn’t wrong, either. He shook his head and huffed, snaring at the black-haired boy as he delicately placed his drink back onto their table.

Bokuto shook his head displeasingly, “You know it’s annoying when you do that.’’

‘’Do what?’’ The other quipped.

‘’Read people.’’

A chortle left Kuroo’s mouth at the response, if there was one thing he had to give credit to Akaashi for, it would be having to be on the same team as Bokuto. ‘’So anyway, what ARE you planning to do about this? You and I both know you aren’t just going to mope around for the rest of the year.’’ The boy paused, placing a finger on his chin, ‘’Okay well, maybe you ARE going to mope, but not if I have anything to do about it!’’ He said, placing his hand on his chest, like some kind of store-branded superhero, coaxing a cackle from Bokuto. ‘’Listen, at the end of the day, we can’t tell people who they can and can’t love- But I know you love Akaashi, right? So at the very least, if you did love him, the best you can do is still support his choices; who knows, maybe he can’t even last more than a week with this girl you’re talking about! You have to Look. On. The. Bright. Side, Dude!’’

And there it was, the long awaited _, ‘Don’t you dare get sad over other people or I WILL beat the everloving shit out of you until all the negativity leaves!’,_ speech, Kuroo likes to give so much, but with the absolute TWINKLING gaze Bokuto was sat there with, it was impossible to deny that it didn’t work. ‘’You know you sound ridiculously cool when you do that, bro.’’

The black-haired boy arose from his seat with a smirk, grabbing his school blazer before tucking his chair back under the table.

‘’I know.’’


End file.
